


What's Said in the Dark

by ReeLeeV



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, Sleep talking, bg!hyungwonho, bg!showhyuk, changki rise, changki rise 2k17, platonic!jookyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 05:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11410965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReeLeeV/pseuds/ReeLeeV
Summary: When Changkyun mentions in an interview that Minhyuk and Kihyun talk to each other in their sleep, Kihyun has absolutely no idea what he's talking about. To prove himself right, Changkyun decides to record them all sleeping one night (without the others’ knowledge). What he catches turns out to be much more than he bargained for.Inspired by an interview where I.M complained about Kihyun and Minhyuk talking to each other in their sleep.





	1. Chapter 1

“So what's it like sharing a bedroom with each other?” the interviewer asks, scribbling down answers and comments as she speaks.

“Well,” Minhyuk says, “our room has definitely been cleaner ever since Kihyun moved into our dorm during the Hero era… He was in Shownu-hyung’s room with Wonho and Hyungwonnie, but when we moved dorms he came into our room. That's definitely been a plus.”

“Not for me,” Changkyun mutters, glancing over at Kihyun as he speaks like he does sometimes. “I'm a light sleeper, and the ’93-line hyungs always talk to each other in their sleep. It keeps me up sometimes.”

“Really?” the woman asks, an interested brow arching upwards. “What kind of things do you two talk about? Is it more personal, or do you only discuss business?”

“The maknae’s told us we do this before,” Kihyun sighs, “but I honestly have no idea what he's talking about. I never remember anything he says we talk about.”

“Last night it was something about what we had for dinner,” Changkyun answers. “Last week they bickered back and forth about the choreography for one of our songs.” He shrugs, summing it all up with, “They just seem to talk about random things.”

“And you have no recollection of this?” the interviewer asks, glancing pointedly at the two in question. Minhyuk and Kihyun merely shrug, assuring her that they don’t.

“That’s nothing compared to Shownu-hyung’s snoring, though,” Hyungwon mutters bluntly, earning a burst of laughter from everyone in the room.

Kihyun glances over at their maknae, a question lingering in his eyes. Changkyun tries for a small smile, hoping to silently convey that, though he keeps the light sleeper up with his mutterings all night, he oddly doesn’t mind it. Kihyun drops the gaze, returning his attention to the interview. Changkyun stares at the older for a moment more, unsure for whatever reason that that had been what the older was worried about. He shrugs, deciding to ask about it later, and refocuses on the interview at hand.

  
Back at the dorm, Kihyun lies on his bed, scrolling through their fancafe. Minhyuk does the same on his own bed, a comfortable silence surrounding the two. Despite how much they get on each other’s nerves on a daily basis, they always love spending downtime with each other. They rely on each other, to an extent, and are, in fact, very close.

Kihyun finds himself replaying the interview in his mind. It had gone well. Their energies had mixed well, as always, and there had been enough fan-service without it being sickening for the interviewer. Of course, that hadn’t been too hard with Minhyuk and Hyunwoo having recently taken the next step in their relationship, and Hyungwon and Hoseok having been a couple almost since their debut. Even Jooheon and Changkyun had seemed gigglier than usual with each other…

A sudden flood of jealousy overtakes Kihyun’s mind, and he finds himself leaning over the side of his bunk bed to stare across the small bedroom at his same-age friend.

“Minhyuk-ah,” he says, earning a curious glance from the platinum blonde, “you don’t think Kkungie and Jooheonney are… you know…” Minhyuk’s eyebrow creases at this, and he sits up thoughtfully.

“I doubt it,” Minhyuk answers honestly. “I mean, I haven’t noticed anything out of the ordinary between them. Why do you ask?” A playful smile makes its way across the visual’s face as he adds, “Have you finally come to terms with your feelings about the maknae? If so, you better talk to him about it ASAP. There's no telling who else may try to snatch him up.”

“Of course not!” Kihyun exclaims a bit too defensively, the tips of his ears turning red. “I was just curious.”

“Sure,” Minhyuk says dryly, sounding wholly unconvinced. “That's why you couldn't even bring yourself to say that the two rappers are in a relationship…” He rolls his eyes, standing to say, “Just be sure to tell him soon. I’d hate for Kyunnie to find out some other way.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Kihyun asks in an almost warning tone. Minhyuk shrugs, standing to leave the room. “Minhyuk-ah? What're you planning?”

“Aish,” Minhyuk sighs tiredly, stretching his arms high above his head, “you don't need to worry. I won't spoil your secret. Whether you tell the maknae or not, you'll out yourself eventually. That, I'm sure of.” He then shoots Kihyun a wink, and tells him to not disturb him and Hyunwoo until dinner. Kihyun rolls his eyes, looking around for his earbuds to drown out the lustful cries of the two that are sure to fill the dorm as soon as the blonde enters their leader’s room.

  
“Why does it bug you so much?” Jooheon asks in a low voice, eyes glued to the television screen. Changkyun shrugs, pouting thoughtfully as he tries to subdue Jooheon's avatar in their video game.

“I don't know,” the maknae mumbles. “It just feels like they don't believe me, and I've never given them any reason to doubt me before… I mean, why would I lie about something like that?”

“I don't think it's because they think you're lying,” Jooheon sighs, failing at the button combo that'd give him his special attack. “Maybe they've just never been told before that they do it? I mean, I've always shared a room with them, but we all know how heavy of a sleeper I can be.” Changkyun chuckles at this, and arches his head back to let loose a thunderous snore. Jooheon reaches over to swat at him, successfully hitting the back of his head.

“So you're saying I should get proof?” Changkyun asks, brow creasing in thought.

“I mean,” Jooheon says, shrugging, “if it really means that much to you, go ahead. It isn't as if it'd be the first time you've recorded any of us sleeping.” Changkyun can't help but giggle at this, thinking of how many embarrassing little clips he has of his different hyungs sleeping they don't know about. Jooheon smiles fondly at the sound of mirth, shaking his head.

“Kkungie,” Kihyun suddenly calls, causing both rappers to jump in surprise. Changkyun whirls about, beaming from ear to ear at the main vocalist. Kihyun laughs breathily, smirking. “Did you want to help me make dinner?” Changkyun nods a bit too fast, pausing the game and getting up before Jooheon can even blink. The older rapper sets down his controller and stretches, glancing at the clock.

“Did we want to do a movie night tonight?” he asks, glancing over at Kihyun. “Hoseok-hyung is still at the company building, so he could pick up that new movie for us if we wanted on his way home.” Kihyun hums thoughtfully, nodding.

“Sounds good,” he says, his voice a bit tenser than it had been when addressing the maknae. Jooheon squints suspiciously at the vocalist, wondering if he'd done something to offend the older. However, he leaves the living room too fast for Jooheon to say anything about it.

The rapper goes to his room to retrieve his phone, ignoring the cries coming from Hyunwoo's room. He texts Hoseok about the movie, adding as an afterthought a request for earplugs.

 _Minmoongie and Hyunwoo at it again?_ Hoseok replies with only a second later. Jooheon chuckles, shaking his head as he responds.

_Yeah, and it sounds like they're only getting started._

_God help us all ㅋㅋㅋ_

Jooheon laughs again, unable to agree more. 


	2. Chapter 2

Kihyun finds himself watching Changkyun, or rather how he interacts with Jooheon, like a hawk the rest of the night. He averts his attention whenever he realizes he's doing it, but he just can't seem to stop himself for good. Jooheon notices this, and calls him out on it, saying the older’s stare is scarier than the horror movie they were watching, but even that doesn't put a stop to it.

The main vocalist feels awful about this. He doesn't want to make Jooheon feel uncomfortable by any means, but he just can't shake this jealousy that takes over every time Jooheon and Changkyun speak. It's only ever when it’s the two rappers speaking, too. He honestly couldn't care less if Hyungwon or Hyunwoo were talking with Changkyun. Hoseok and Minhyuk’s typical handsiness doesn't even bother him.

He doesn't understand it. The two rappers have always been one of the closer duos of the group. Jooheon, after all, had been the first of the group to warm up to Changkyun. Kihyun had taken the maknae under his wing shortly after, of course, but it was Jooheon that first began to welcome him.

As Kihyun stares at Changkyun and Jooheon trading word puns, he finds himself unable to regret that error from the past anymore than he does in this moment.

  
The boys don't stay up too late, all too exhausted from all the hard work they've been doing lately to do so. They each retire to their own rooms, Kihyun climbing wordlessly into his own bunk. Minhyuk spares a questioning glance towards the slightly younger before snuggling down into his own covers, pulling his phone out of his shorts pocket to go through the fancafe before sleeping as he sometimes does. Jooheon crouches down into his own bunk, turning to face the wall with crossed arms.

Changkyun glances around at his hyungs with a pout. He doesn't like how this is going, this odd tension between his band mates, but he just can’t think of how to fix it. He settles into his bunk, feeling uneasy. Maybe it had to do with what he had said during their interview earlier that day? But, if that were the case, then that wouldn’t explain this silent hostility towards Jooheon from Kihyun.

The maknae sighs discontentedly, setting his phone to record audio in the background while it’s locked. If it’s really bothering Kihyun as much as it seems to, then Changkyun is sure he’ll discuss it with Minhyuk. That’s something great about having sleep-talkers as roommates, you’re always able to figure out what’s bugging them whether they want you to or not.

  
The next morning, Changkyun awakens as he always does to Kihyun’s gentle pokes and prods. He turns over, rubbing at his eyes. Kihyun’s hair is a bit disheveled, and his glasses are pushed up as far as they’ll go on the bridge of his nose. Changkyun can’t help but smile at his cute hyung. He’s sure if Monbebe were to see Kihyun like this, bare-faced and bleary-eyed, he’d be the most popular member in their hearts forever.

“Good morning, hyung,” he murmurs, sitting up as he rubs at his eyes a bit more. Kihyun hums, giving his dongsaeng a fond smile before nodding and moving towards Jooheon’s bunk. The rapper is hugging a body pillow tightly against himself, a small pout gracing his lips.

“Jooheon-ah!” Kihyun calls, pulling at the younger’s arms. A small, faint whine escapes the man, but he allows himself to be pulled away from his comfortable position anyway. Changkyun chuckles at the typical morning routine, and moves to go to the bathroom. Their leader should be done in there by now, and he wants to get in before Hoseok awakens. Otherwise, he won’t be able to take a shower like he wants.

As an afterthought, Changkyun grabs his phone. He unlocks it just to stop the recording and close the app. He smirks victoriously to himself, the time stamp on the recording telling him he had successfully recorded the whole night. Hopefully he had managed to catch whatever it is his hyungs had said over Jooheon’s snores.

  
In the car, Changkyun sits in the very back and pulls out his headphones. He had wanted to listen to it with everyone around to hear before they left, but, as usual, they were all rushing out the door thanks to Hoseok taking an eternity to get ready. So, he’s content on just listening to it by himself for now. Besides, he needs to find the exact spot they had begun to talk to each other and edit out all the time of just Jooheon snoring.

Changkyun scrolls casually through the recording, listening intently for voices. It’s a program he usually uses to record sound bites for mixtapes, so the others don’t take notice. He, however, can’t help but glance at Kihyun every so often, just to make sure he stays oblivious. Luckily, he’s too caught up in a bickering bout with Hyungwon to notice much of anything else.

It doesn’t take long for him to find where the murmurings start. He scrolls it back about thirty seconds to before, snickering gleefully to himself. He glances out the window, focusing on keeping his expression neutral as he listens.

“ _Minhyuk-ah_ ,” Kihyun’s low, sleep-filled voice had called faintly on the recording. “ _You… How… did you know_?”

“ _Mm_?” Minhyuk hummed in response after a little time. It usually takes the two a while to have a simple conversation, it being able to last all night due to their delayed responses.

“ _You said before_ ,” Kihyun had told him. “ _You said… that thing… that thing about me and Kkungie._ ” Changkyun physically jolts at the mention of him. He leans closer to the window in interest, frowning at the passing scenery. This hadn’t been what he’d been expecting at all.

“ _It’s so obvious, Ki_ ,” Minhyuk says bluntly. “ _You always dote on him… just like I do with Hyunwoo_.” There’s a pause, and the ruffling of sheets. Minhyuk mumbles something unintelligible about cucumbers as Kihyun hums a beautiful tone under his breath.

“ _I love him_.”

Changkyun stops the recording and yanks his earbuds from his ears. He stares with wide eyes out the window, pressing himself incredibly close to the side of the car in an effort to hide his blush.

 _I didn’t hear that right…_ Changkyun tells himself. _Surely I didn’t hear that right…_ He puts in an earbud and rewinds the recording, replaying the bit in question over and over.

 _He was jealous of Jooheon-hyung last night_ , Changkyun thinks, wiping at his face as he pulls the earbud out once more, the recording having sounded the same every time he listened. _That’s why he was staring at him like that last night, he was jealous…_

Changkyun chances a glance over at Kihyun, studying the way he laughs along with Hoseok about some joke or another. As if sensing the gaze, he turns, that brilliantly dazzling smile still set on his face. The expression falls slightly at seeing Changkyun, and his smile tightens a bit.

“You okay, Kkungie?” he asks, concern alighting his eyes. “You don’t look too well…”

Changkyun gulps, hard, and nods before breaking his gaze and turning back to the window. He breathes in deeply, the girl on his phone tightening. He has no idea what to do with this information. Kihyun obviously has no idea what he had said to Minhyuk while the slept, as always. He licks his lips nervously, wondering what Jooheon would do in such a situation.

 _Hyung will know what to do_ , he thinks almost desperately. _I’ll play the recording for him. He’ll know exactly what I should do…_


	3. Chapter 3

Kihyun watches Changkyun out of the corner of his eye the whole rest of the car ride, and halfway through practice. The maknae seems to be avoiding him, for whatever reason. He wonders if it’s because of his semi-hostility towards Jooheon the night before, but he had apologized to the rapper for it earlier in the morning, so surely that couldn’t be it. Not that he could blame Changkyun for being upset with him over it.

No, that’s certainly not it. The maknae had been adorably sweet to him when he woke up this morning, after all. If he had been upset for that, then he wouldn’t have acted in such a way. He only had begun acting weird when they were on their way to the company building, while he was listening to his music...

Kihyun fumbles and trips over his own feet in the middle of the choreography, falling to the floor with an ‘oof’. Hoseok immediately goes to help him up, asking him if he’s okay.

“I’m fine, hyung,” Kihyun tells him, trying for a bright smile. He bows his head to their instructor as he adds, “Sorry, I got distracted.”

“Don’t worry about it,” the man tells him, waving off the apology. “Just get your head back in the game. We need your all on this routine.” Kihyun nods, and goes to retake his spot in the group lineup. He catches Changkyun watching him worriedly, frozen where he stands. Kihyun offers him a small smile, just glad that the younger had finally glanced his way.

Changkyun blinks rapidly, as if waking up from a trance, and purses his lips as he returns his focus to their instructor. Kihyun has to bite back an exasperated sigh, making a mental note to ask him just what is wrong now. Maybe he’ll even be able to get him alone once they get back to the dorm to talk about it while they cook for the others, as they always do. Granted, what Changkyun does—making puns about every little ingredient and just making a mess of the food in general—isn’t exactly what you call helping, but Kihyun definitely considers it a step-up from just cooking by himself all the time.

  
All thoughts of interrogation are put on halt, however, once the boys return to the dorm. Kihyun had given his all for the choreography, all right. He had practiced so hard he could barely even breathe, and Hyunwoo had insisted on giving him a piggyback ride from the building to the car. Kihyun is even given first dibs at the shower by unanimous decision. Though, Changkyun’s vote on the matter can’t quite be considered altruistic, for he sees it as an opportunity to finally discuss the recording that’s been consuming his mind all day.

As soon as Kihyun leaves the bedroom, Changkyun scurries over to Jooheon’s bed, pulling out his phone as he moves. Jooheon stares at him questioningly, to which the maknae only offers up an earbud in response. Jooheon hums as if understanding, probably assuming it’s just a beat or something that the younger wants an opinion on.

Changkyun is sure that’s the case, judging by his raised brow upon the start of the recording. Changkyun begins playing it at the moment it begins. He can tell when it gets to the fateful proclamation bit by Jooheon’s mouth falling open in utter shock. Changkyun can only nod, pulling his earbud free from Jooheon’s ear.

“So…” Jooheon says, his face the classic rendition of the picture ‘My mind is empty because I’m not thinking’. “I guess this is what Kihyun-hyung was so tense about last night… Though, I have no idea what could’ve brought it on.” He pauses, taking a long drink of water before adding, “Maybe this was a long time coming, and he finally just snapped.” Changkyun eyes his hyung questioningly, recognizing the nervous tendency.

“I don’t see why you’re so anxious, hyung,” he says bluntly. “I’m the one Kihyun-hyung is harboring feelings for, not you.” Jooheon chuckles, shaking his head as he ruffles Changkyun’s hair.

“Yeah, but you’re the one bringing me into it, maknae,” he says, though there’s not a hint of annoyance. “You need to talk to him about this, Kyunnie.”

“I don’t even know how to,” Changkyun argues, his tone very defensive. “He doesn’t remember saying it, obviously, and neither of them knew about me recording them… What if he gets mad, and we fight? I hate fighting with hyung on the best of days, but this… A fight could ruin any chance of—” Changkyun shuts his lips tight all too late, his eyes wide as he realizes what he’s just let slip. The maknae watches his hyung as the gears turn in his head, concluding the only logical ending to such a statement. Jooheon chuckles understandingly, and sets a comforting hand atop the younger’s arm.

“Then don’t talk to him about it,” Jooheon tells him gently, a plotting light in his eye. “Try to get him to admit to it while awake.”

“How?”

Jooheon chuckles darkly, a smirk dancing across his lips.

“We’ll need Minhyuk-hyung’s help…”

  
Kihyun returns to the bedroom some time after leaving it, having used the shower as a way to clear his head of the maknae. The younger seems to be filling his thoughts more and more lately, though he can’t tell why. Perhaps it has to do with what Minhyuk had said the day before, about him coming to terms with his feelings. Of course, that begs the question… Just what feelings has he come to terms with?

The main vocalist enters the room with an exasperated sigh, only to be met with delighted giggles. His eyes widen at seeing the two rappers sitting on Jooheon’s bed, the maknae in a headlock whilst Jooheon ruffles his hair. Changkyun squirms as he tries to get away, but he seems to be having too much fun to succeed, judging by his bright smile.

The sight causes Kihyun’s chest to tighten. He clears his throat, drawing the two’s attention to him. He tries for a smile, though he’s sure it doesn’t quite make it judging by the sudden air of anxious energy overtaking the room.

“Hyung!” Changkyun greets after a moment, standing from the bed and hugging Kihyun tightly. The older has to hold back a surprised gasp at the affectionate greeting. He forces out a breathy chuckle as he returns the hug.

“What’s with you, Kkungie?” he asks teasingly. “Are you feeling okay?” Changkyun merely hums, nuzzling his face into Kihyun’s neck. The action causes Kihyun’s heartbeat to quicken.

“I’m just happy to see my hyung,” he says softly, his deep voice lightened by adoration. Kihyun shoots Jooheon a suspicious glance, raising a brow.

“Did you give him beer again?” he asks. “Don’t you remember the last time he got drunk?” It had been a most interesting night, to say the least. The maknae had proven to be a most affectionate drunk, the alcohol pushing away whatever reservations he had and making him much more outgoing than usual. If Kihyun had to be honest, he didn’t particularly mind it.

Changkyun pulls away at the implication, a cute little pout gracing his lips.

“Do I have to be drunk to hug my favorite hyung?” Changkyun asks. He pulls away, adding, “Why’re you being so cold to me?”

Kihyun is taken aback by the question, though he can’t tell if it’s because of how blunt he’s being or the steadiness of his gaze.

“I’m—”

“Kihyun-ssi!” Minhyuk’s raspy voice calls out in the dorm. The platinum blonde pokes his head into the room, a smirk on his face. “Can you order us some chicken for dinner tonight? Hyunwoo-hyung is quite exhausted from practice, and I honestly don’t feel like going out, either.” Kihyun hums, nodding his head as he turns to retrieve his phone from the living room to place the order. He’s glad for a reason to leave the room, if for nothing more than to escape Changkyun’s unwavering gaze.

Minhyuk waits only a moment longer before fully entering the room and closing the door, humming at the rappers.

“You’ve gotten him riled up, I’ve gotten him ordering his favorite aphrodisiac,” Minhyuk surmises, “now all that’s left is for Jooheonney and me to clear out for you two to have a heart to heart you both so desperately need.” Changkyun nods, a sense of duty filling him.

One way or another, Kihyun will admit to his feelings by the end of tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

 

Changkyun sticks close to Kihyun all through dinner. Or, at least, closer than usual. He’s pretty sure none of the others notice, which, granted, makes him wonder just how much he clings to Kihyun on a regular basis. He’s never really thought about it before, but not even Hoseok seems to wonder why Changkyun is following their main vocalist around like a lost puppy.

 _Am I always like this?_ he can’t help but wonder as he chews on his deliciously crispy fried chicken. _Do I always just… follow hyung around? I mean, I know I’ve always stuck closer to him and Jooheon-hyung than the others, but that’s because…_

He thinks back to their No.Mercy days, how everyone had reacted when he first joined them. They had just suffered the loss of a trainee they all had been close with, and Changkyun coming in halfway through the competition wouldn’t have gone over well even if they hadn’t just lost someone. It’s not that he regrets his choice, mind you. If he had to go back and relive all that initial pain of being ostracized and despised by the majority of his peers, he would.

But, despite his hatred of the situation, Kihyun had been one of the first to speak to him, much less take him under his wing.

“Yah! Kkungie!”

Changkyun jolts a bit and blinks around to refocus on his surroundings. Kihyun is staring at him with a look of concern, though he isn’t the one that’s called him from his thoughts. Hyungwon raises a prompting brow, and Changkyun has to push on a nonchalant grin.

“Sorry, hyung,” the rapper says with a sheepish chuckle. “What were you saying?”

“I asked if you wanted to go check out the new arcade tomorrow,” Hoseok speaks up. He and Hyungwon share a meaningful glance, clearly worried about their maknae. He’s always had some airhead-like tendencies, but he’d always had a knack for flying in whenever video games were involved.

“To-Tomorrow?” he asks confusedly. “We don’t have anything scheduled?” He looks over at Kihyun instinctively, since he always knows whatever is planned for the group. Though, at that moment, Kihyun is too busy stuffing his face full of food to bother with answering. Changkyun finds himself chuckling at the familiar sight. But, suddenly he becomes incredibly anxious, and he quickly looks away as his ears begin to turn red.

“Are you feeling okay?” Hyungwon asks. “You’re flushing…” At this, Kihyun breaks his focus on his food and stares at the maknae, studying his appearance. Changkyun squirms under his gaze, pressing his lips together as he tries to avoid the older’s eyes.

“You’re not going anywhere if you have a fever,” he says. Minhyuk perks up, glancing between Changkyun and Kihyun as an idea comes to him.

“He was complaining earlier about a stomachache,” he pipes in, smiling encouragingly at the rapper. “Weren’t you, Kkungie?”

“Y-Yeah...” Changkyun agrees lamely, following the vocalist’s lead. He isn’t too sure why Minhyuk has taken the plan down this road, but he knows his hyung knows best, so he’ll go along with it.

Kihyun sucks in a quick breath through his teeth, and stands from the table. He leaves the room only to come back a moment later with a dampened washcloth. He presses it to Changkyun’s forehead, and gently pulls the boy up by his arm.

“Hyung!” Changkyun protests, grabbing for another piece of chicken as he’s forced away. “I’m not done eating!”

“I’ll make you some soup,” Kihyun tells him dragging him along to their bedroom.

“Feel free to put him in a bottom bunk!” Minhyuk calls after them. “Jooheonney and I are gonna sleep in the other room. We don’t wanna catch whatever it is he’s got.” Changkyun shoots a demanding glare over his shoulder, only to be met by a smirk. Changkyun turns back to going along with Kihyun, his stomach churning nervously.

He’d never been anxious about spending time alone with his hyung before, but many things seem to be changing now.

  
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you weren’t feeling well, Kkungie,” Kihyun sighs as he sits beside his favorite dongsaeng. Changkyun stares up at him with bleary eyes, his cheeks slightly flushed. He presses a hand to the sides of the rapper’s head. “You always tell me if you think you’re getting sick. I don’t care if you’re upset with me, you should never—”

“Upset?” Changkyun asks, clearly confused. “What would I be upset with you for?” Kihyun purses his lips, sitting back slightly in surprise.

“You weren’t upset with me today?” he asks in return. He leans even closer to Changkyun, studying his expression as he asks, “Then why were you avoiding me today?” Changkyun blinks repeatedly, his eyes flitting about to see anything but the accusatory light in his hyung’s eyes.

“I…” he stammers, unsure exactly of what to say. “I… um…” He puffs out an annoyed breath, deciding to just go for it. They’re in this stupid situation in the first place because of the older, anyway. But, he knows he needs to word it in a way so as not to offend his most sensitive hyung. “I feel like you’re hiding something from me.”

 _Yeah_ , he thinks proudly, _that’s it. This way he still won’t know about the recording._

Kihyun’s eyebrows crease together as he leans away from his dongsaeng once more, even more befuddled than before.

“Hiding something from you?” he says, not even blinking as he tries to think of what the younger could possibly be talking about. He puckers his lips in thought as his eyes drift up to the bottom of the bunk above, but he just can’t think of what Changkyun could possibly be talking about. He’d always been very open with the maknae, as the other has been with him. He’s never purposefully kept anything from him. “What makes you think that? What is it you think I’m hiding?”

Changkyun chews on his bottom lip. He guesses his statement was a bit too vague, especially considering how Kihyun has apparently been keeping his feelings hidden from himself for who knows how long. The rapper fiddles with the blanket, unable to meet Kihyun’s eyes as he goes past the point of return.

“I feel like… sometimes… you’re hiding how you feel about _me_.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

Kihyun isn’t too sure he’s heard the maknae right. His mind seems to be working slower than usual, though he isn’t too sure why. It’s probably due to his own exhaustion. He had worked harder than usual at practice, and now he’s staying up later than he’d intended with Changkyun to make sure his ailment doesn’t worsen.

“How I feel about you?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. He doesn’t mean the question to sound so abrasive, in fact he almost winces at how harsh his own tone is. He’s just in such a state of disarray that he’s unsure of how to react. He doesn’t feel any special way about the maknae… Though, with that said, Kihyun can’t help but wonder why his heart is racing so at such an accusation.

Changkyun only nods, keeping his bottom lip pinned between his teeth. He turns to retrieve his phone from the bedside table, and begins to scroll through it. He glances up at Kihyun almost hesitantly before pressing something on the touch-screen with an air of finality that causes Kihyun to grow nervous.

_“Minhyuk-ah? You… How… did you know?”_

It’s Kihyun’s own voice that’s playing from the maknae’s phone now. He can’t think of when the younger could’ve gotten a recording such as this, but that doesn’t particularly bother him. Something about this is setting alarm bells off in his subconscious. He finds it hard to meet the maknae’s gaze, as if he knows where this is going.

“ _Mm?_ ” Minhyuk’s voice replies, his hum filling the room.

_“You said before. You said… that thing… that thing about me and Kkungie.”_

_“It’s so obvious, Ki. You always dote on him… just like I do with Hyunwoo.”_

_“I love him.”_

Changkyun stops the recording in the all-too-familiar bit, feeling as if a weight has lifted off his chest at finally playing the recording for Kihyun. Now, they can talk about it openly. Now, they can take the next step. Now, they can—

Kihyun stands from the bed and begins to pace, his mind obviously working a million miles a second. Self-doubt begins to fill the younger at what he’s done. He begins to almost fear what Kihyun will say next.

“When did you record that?” Kihyun finally asks, his voice surprisingly steady considering how frazzled he looks.

“I…” Changkyun murmurs, confused as to where this could be going. “I recorded it last night, after the interview. When I mentioned that you and Minhyuk-hyung talk in your sleep, and you didn’t believe me, I wanted to get proof. So, I recorded you two and… and this is what I got.” Kihyun shakes his head, his lips pursed together.

“Of course I love you, Kkungie,” Kihyun says, his voice shaking slightly. “But… I don’t think I meant it like that, you know? I mean, you’d think I’d be aware of thothe kindth of feelingth if I had them.” He tries for a friendly chuckle, willfully ignoring how his own lisp comes through.

“Then why’re you so nervous, hyung?” Changkyun asks point-blank, indignation blocking out all other emotion. He sits up and stands, going to stand beside Kihyun to stare directly into his eyes. “If you don’t feel that way about me, why are you so put off by this recording?”

Kihyun straightens up in his stance, the light in his eyes rivaling that of Changkyun’s. He feels, for some reason, like a cornered animal, and he doesn’t like it at all. He becomes defensive, his gaze unwavering.

“Why’re _you_ so insistent about this, Changkyun-ah?” he demands, his sensitivity getting the better of him. “Is there something _you’re_ not telling _me_?”

“You don’t get to turn this around on me, hyung,” Changkyun spits back. “ _I’m_ not the one hiding from my own feelings here!”

“Oh, really?” Kihyun replies. “So that lost puppy act is something you do with everyone? Because I haven’t seen you act as clingy with any of the others like you do with me!”

“And none of the others dote on me like you do!” Changkyun points out, poking Kihyun’s chest to emphasize his own point. “Always giving _me_ food first, always laughing at _my_ stupid jokes the most, always cheering _me_ on more than you do the others, even more than you do for Hyunwoo-hyung… You’re no better than a schoolgirl with hearts for eyes!”

Kihyun presses his lips together, his pride absolutely refusing to back down while every fiber of his being is telling him otherwise. He knows if he continues down this line he’ll say something he’ll later regret, and the last thing he wants to do is hurt his precious maknae…

“Think what you want,” he finally says, his voice lower than normal. He turns away and stomps over to the door, and opens it to leave the room and slam it closed. Changkyun groans in outrage, throwing himself back on the bed. Regret seeps into every pore, and he rubs at his face to try and clear his head.

_I’ve ruined everything…_

  
When Kihyun had forced Changkyun away from the table, Hoseok and Hyungwon had looked over at Minhyuk confusedly.

“The hell was that?” Hyungwon had asked bluntly. “Kyunnie seemed fine to me.”

“Poke your nose out of it, Long Boy,” Minhyuk told him playfully, flicking a grain of rice in his direction. “It’s all a part of my brilliant plan.”

Now, with the sound of rising voices and slamming doors, Hyungwon looks over at Minhyuk in the dark with a smirk.

“ _That_ all a part of your plan, too?” he asks the older, raising a haughty brow. Minhyuk grumbles in annoyance at his dongsaeng, and it’s all he has to keep himself from throwing a pillow at him.

“What _was_ the plan, anyway?” Hoseok asks, sitting up enough to see Minhyuk over Hyungwon’s shoulder. He stares over at Hyunwoo’s bed, where Minhyuk is sleeping, and pouts at the younger for an answer.

“It’s about time Kihyun-ssi admits his feelings for Kkungie, don’t you think?” is all he says in reply, earning a sigh from Jooheon.

“I think we just made it worse, hyung,” the rapper mutters from Hyungwon’s bunk, which he took since it was the only free bed in the room. “Did you hear them? I’ve never heard those two fight like that before…”

“It’ll all work out, Jooheonney,” Minhyuk assures him. “We’ll just give them time to cool off, and then—”

“Let them sort it out, Minhyukkie,” Hyunwoo says gently. “You’ve interjected all you can… Just let them sort it out from now on.” Minhyuk sighs in defeat, knowing his boyfriend to be right. He snuggles close to the older, humming.

“Alright, alright,” he says. “I’ll let them take care of it. Though, knowing them, it’ll probably take another year.”

The boys all share a chuckle at this, praying for their sakes that he’s wrong. 


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Kihyun stirs awake especially early. He turns on his side, a crick in his neck causing him to groan slightly. He sits up, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks around with bleary eyes.

 _Why am I…? Oh, yeah._ It takes him only a moment to remember why he’s on the couch and not in his comfy bed. He sighs heavily, looking over at the door leading to the bedroom he typically shares with the two rappers and his same-age friend. The fight from the previous night… It hurts Kihyun’s head just to think about.

As if on cue, Changkyun stumbles from the room and towards the bathroom, not even glancing in his direction. Kihyun frowns at this, watching carefully the way he bumps into everything down the hall. He clearly hadn’t slept a wink all last night. Guilt gnaws at the main vocalist as he realizes this, and he chews on his bottom lip as he tries to think of a way to make amends.

  
_This is the most awkward breakfast since No.Mercy_ , Hyungwon mentally grumbles, looking around the silent table in dismay. The only sound in the room is that of utensils clanking against the plates. They’re all dining on a Western breakfast dish they all know Changkyun especially enjoys, but the comfort food has obviously done little to appease the maknae.

They all watch as Kihyun watches the rapper hopefully, as if this somehow counts as a silent apology. They’ve bickered in the past, yes, and this has been a way for Kihyun to regain the younger’s affections… but they all know there’s only one thing that can fix the situation now.

Changkyun eats quickly, and excuses himself to go to his room without waiting for a response. As soon as they hear the door close softly behind him, they all turn to Kihyun with an accusatory glare.

“You need to fix this,” Minhyuk tells him, crossing his arms over his chest. He stands, and picks up his and the maknae’s plates to take to the sink. “That’s all I’m going to say. You _need_ to _fix this_.” He then kicks Kihyun’s thigh as if to emphasize his own words, and then leaves the room.

“You’ll have the apartment to yourselves today,” Jooheon tells him as he gets up to follow the other, “so you’ll have ample time to fix this mess.”

“Because being alone worked out so well for us last night,” Kihyun mutters, though they all can tell it’s less out of annoyance and more out of anxiety. He watches as the other members get up one by one to start their days. He stands last, and sets upon cleaning the dishes. By the time he’s finished, everyone else has left.

Kihyun takes a deep, steadying breath, and makes his way towards the bedroom. He pauses at the door, listening for any sort of noise on the other side. When all he hears is silence, it does little to ease his nerves. He knocks gently on the door before poking his head in, and he tries for a small smile. Changkyun doesn’t even bother to turn and see who it is.

“Kkungie?” Kihyun asks, sounding almost sheepish. “Is there… anything you needed?”

“No,” the maknae answers almost immediately, his voice deeper than usual. Kihyun presses his lips together. He chances taking a step into the room, and then another. He tries to think of a way to keep the younger talking.

“We’ve got the place to ourselves today,” he says, though he’s pretty sure his dongsaeng already knows. “We could watch a movie, if you wanted. Or, we could go to the store and I could make you whatever you’d like for lunch…” All of this sounds incredibly lame, even to Kihyun, but he’s at a loss as to what else he should do.

“So you could make another apology meal?” Changkyun asks as he finally turns around to face the vocalist. Kihyun is almost relieved that he’s finally turned, but he quickly regrets it. The hurt shining in Changkyun’s eyes is almost too painful to bear. Kihyun is shocked into silence, which doesn’t happen very often. Changkyun merely shakes his head and turns back around, returning his gaze to the wall.

Kihyun sucks in a breath through his teeth, growing annoyed at himself for being so coy. It isn’t like him at all. He swallows what reserves he has left, and, using Minhyuk’s bed as a step-stool, he becomes eye-level with the maknae.

“I’m sorry I yelled last night,” he begins, causing Changkyun to jolt slightly. The younger turns, and faces his hyung curiously. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Kyunnie. I just felt like I was being backed into a corner, and I didn’t like that feeling. So, I lashed out. Will you forgive me?” Changkyun presses his lips together making them seem much thinner than they actually are.

“It’s not _just_ because we fought,” Changkyun mumbles, his gaze falling to the bed sheets. “It’s more of what we fought about. I just… I feel like you’re denying your own feelings, and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of me. I’m not trying to force you to go out with me or anything… I just want you to be true to yourself. But, if you’re lying to yourself because of _me_ … it makes me wonder just what is so wrong with me that you’d—”

“Nothing’s wrong with you, Kkungie,” Kihyun interrupts, shaking his head. He can’t believe he’s hearing this. “You’re so kind and helpful and hardworking… You’re the best dongsaeng I could’ve ever hoped for!” He pauses, reaching towards Changkyun and holding onto his hand consolingly. “I do love you, maknae, but it’s just not romantically… You shouldn’t take it personally.” Changkyun’s fingers wrap around Kihyun’s hand as if it’s a lifeline, and his eyes begin to shine with tears. He blinks rapidly to fight off the waterworks, not wanting to seem any more pitiful in front of his hyung.

“Okay…” he finally says, allowing Kihyun to release a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He tries for a smile, which earns an affectionate ruffling of the hair from his hyung.

“I’m glad we got this sorted out, maknae,” Kihyun says, obviously much more at ease as he hops down from Minhyuk’s bed. “I can’t tell you how bad I feel when we fight.” He then turns towards the door, calling over his shoulder, “So, what movie do you wanna watch? We can watch something extra terrifying that Jooheon-ah wouldn’t ever let us watch with him in the dorm.”

“Actually,” Changkyun says, clearing his throat as he sits up, “I was planning on going to my studio today. I figured it’s as good a time as any to work on some songs.”

“Oh,” Kihyun mumbles, clearly disappointed. He turns around to face the younger, forcing an encouraging smile onto his face. “That’s alright! I have tons of laundry to do, anyway. I hope you work hard, maknae.” Changkyun chuckles at this, though it sounds a bit heavier than usual, and nods his head as he throws on a hoodie.

“I will, hyung,” he assures him, and then hurries from the dorm.

Kihyun watches after him, his heart falling to his toes.

  
At his studio, Changkyun wipes at his face with his sleeve. He isn’t getting much work done at all. Instead, he’s watching videos on his computer, trying to get himself to forget about his miserable life for a minute or two.

Suddenly, his phone rings, breaking through his self-pity party.

“Hyung?” Changkyun asks confusedly, sniffling a bit. His Caller ID had flashed Jooheon’s contact picture, but surely it couldn’t be Jooheon. He’s supposed to be having fun with the others at the arcade today.

“Minhyuk-hyung just got off the phone with Kihyun-hyung,” Jooheon’s voice answers, “and he said you weren’t home. Are you at your studio still?” Changkyun nearly cries out at the clear concern in Jooheon’s voice, and he nods despite knowing the other can’t see it. “Okay, I’m on my way.”

Without another word, he ends the call.


	7. Chapter 7

Jooheon arrives in a flurry seemingly only a second later, but Changkyun knows it must’ve been much longer considering how frantic he seems. He doesn’t even bother to knock. He just enters the small room, and kneels beside Changkyun’s chair. He rests a hand on the maknae’s knee, sympathy shining in his eyes.

It’s that look that finally causes Changkyun to break down. He leans forward, burying his head in Jooheon’s shoulder as he allows his heart to at last shatter into a million pieces.

  
Changkyun isn’t exactly sure for how long he cries. He just knows that by the time he finally manages to regain some semblance of composure, his back and neck ache like hell. He sniffles, wiping at his runny nose and splotchy face with his oversized sleeves. Jooheon coos at the sight, reaching over to retrieve some Kleenex for his dongsaeng.

“So, I guess you and Kihyun-hyung talked today?” Jooheon finally prompts. He stands and guides Changkyun over to the couch, bringing the box of tissues with them. Changkyun nods, his throat constricting as he thinks of the older.

“He absolutely re-refuses to admit his fe-feelings,” Changkyun stutters out, a hiccup escaping him. “I don’t know what else to do, hy-hyung. I just… I f-finally think I ha-have a ch-chance… a-and it all gets ta-taken aw-way from me.” A stray tear falls from his eyes, and Jooheon pulls out a tissue to wipe it away. They’re both quiet for a long time, allowing Changkyun ample time to cry out the remainder of his tears and clean himself up a little.

“I’m gonna rip that gremlin a new one when we get home,” Jooheon mumbles, his tone a bit darker than what Changkyun is used to. He watches the violent light flicker in Jooheon’s eyes like a flame just dying to be released, and it sends a chill down the maknae’s spine. He’s never seen his hyung so angry.

“Please don’t,” Changkyun quickly insists. “It isn’t his fault. I guess… I guess I just misunderstood the recording, after all.”

“Why’re you defending him?!” Jooheon exclaims, his brow creasing together in utter confusion.

“Because I love him!”

Changkyun sucks in a breath at his own confession, his eyes falling sheepishly to the floor. He presses his lips together in an attempt to keep himself from saying anything else incriminating. Jooheon sighs heavily, and pulls his dongsaeng in for a hug.

“Fine,” he finally concedes. “I won’t say anything to him...” He sighs, shaking his head at the entire situation. “Honestly, Kkungie, you’re so hopeless sometimes.” Changkyun chuckles, the sound deep and raspy.

“Sorry, hyung,” Changkyun mumbles, taking one last sniffle before breaking away. “Thank you for not saying anything.”

“Anything for you, maknae,” Jooheon chuckles. He pulls Changkyun in for a headlock and rubs his fist into the younger’s head, earning a high-pitched giggle from his dongsaeng. He laughs himself, shaking his head as he releases him. Changkyun smiles, very much grateful for his hyung.

  
Kihyun works frantically in the kitchen, preparing a dinner the likes of which the members haven’t had for a while. The other vocalists in the dorm are all hanging out in the living room. Hoseok and Minhyuk argue noisily over what they should watch. Hyunwoo is out at the gym, having said he won’t be back till late, and last Kihyun had seen, Hyungwon was scrolling through Twitter.

The main vocalist can’t tell exactly why he’s so anxious. He supposes it could be because he hasn’t heard from Changkyun since the younger had left this morning. Minhyuk had told him that Jooheon went to visit the maknae in his studio a few hours ago, and hasn’t been heard from since. Kihyun finds himself gripping his stirring spoon a bit tighter as he thinks of this, of what those two could possibly be doing for all this time… together.

Finally, Kihyun hears the front door open and the wonderfully familiar giggle of his dongsaeng. He rushes from what he’s doing, spoon still in hand, to poke his head into the living room. He’s relieved to see Changkyun laughing and smiling brilliantly… even if it is at something Jooheon had said.

“ _There_ you two are!” Kihyun says, forcing out a chuckle. Changkyun’s laughter falters slightly at Kihyun’s greeting, and his smile becomes noticeably tighter. Kihyun tries to act as if he doesn’t notice, though. “Dinner’s almost ready, if you two are hungry.”

“I uh… actually ate a lot of snacks today,” Changkyun mumbles, shuffling on his feet. He breaks away from Jooheon, moving towards the bedroom. “I’m gonna go lay down. I’ll eat something later if I get hungry.”

“Oh,” Kihyun says, a bit surprised, “okay. I’d be happy to set aside some—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Changkyun tells him. And, with that, he shuts the door behind himself with a soft click. Kihyun purses his lips as he stares at the door, countless thoughts whirling about in his mind.

“You said you talked to him,” Minhyuk says almost immediately, crossing his arms with an accusatory glare set on his typically bright features.

“I did,” Kihyun fires back, a bit too defensive. He puffs out a breath and turns on his heel, resuming his work in the kitchen.

 _He did seem a little off when he left_ , Kihyun thinks with a sigh, _but I thought he was just tired. I guess he could still be tired, but—_

“Hyung.”

Kihyun turns surprisedly, having been so lost in his own head he hadn’t realized it when Jooheon leaned on the counter beside him. He raises a brow, something about the rapper’s expression unsettling.

“I told Changkyun I wouldn’t say anything,” the younger goes on, his gaze faltering slightly in doubt, “but I feel like I should. I’m not trying to tell you how to handle this situation, but you really hurt Kyunnie with all this. So, if you want him to get over it as quickly as possible, then you should probably give him some space. Things will get back to normal, or as normal as they can get, between you two eventually. He just needs some time.”

Kihyun doesn’t know exactly how to react to this. Luckily, though, it doesn’t seem like the younger particularly wants a response. The rapper merely nods to himself, turns on his heel, and goes to the living room. Kihyun’s purses his lips after his dongsaeng, brow creasing together in dismay.


	8. Chapter 8

Changkyun doesn’t even stir in the slightest when the others enter the bedroom hours later. Minhyuk and Jooheon are quick to go to bed. Kihyun lingers for a moment, staring at the maknae guiltily. He can easily tell that the younger is only pretending to be asleep. He wants so badly to close the distance between them and beg for his forgiveness, to hold the maknae close and pet his hair, to ki—

Kihyun swallows a lump in his throat, and quickly averts his gaze. He hurries to turn off the light and scurries up to his bunk, trying to push the mental images of kissing Changkyun out of his mind that had suddenly invaded. Where had that come from?

 _It’s probably from all this romantic talk about us lately_ , the vocalist thinks as he stares up at the ceiling through the dark. A hand comes up to push itself through his hair, and he squeezes his eyes shut in an attempt to clear his head.

He looks over at Changkyun’s still form, chewing on his lower lip thoughtfully.

  
Hours pass before the maknae rustles about in his bed. He turns on his side, looking first at Kihyun and then Jooheon. His heart aches as his eyes drift over the body of the main vocalist. The tiny silhouette of his hyung rises and falls steadily, signifying that he’s well asleep by now. However, he can easily tell by the lack of snoring in the room that Jooheon is still awake.

“Hyung?” he asks softly, leaning over the side of his bunk. He waits a moment, pouting when there’s no response. He gets out of bed and pads silently over on bare feet to the older’s bed. Upon reaching the floor, he sees finally that Jooheon is staring at his phone with his earbuds in. Jooheon notices the maknae move, and removes an earplug as the younger sits on the edge of his bunk.

“I thought you were asleep, Kkungie,” Jooheon says, careful to keep his voice down.

“I can’t,” Changkyun mumbles, chewing on his lip, “not alone. I… I was wondering if I could… sleep with you tonight?” Jooheon smiles sympathetically, and moves over as much as he can to make room for his dongsaeng. Changkyun quickly slides under the covers and snuggles close to the other, hugging Jooheon gratefully around his plushy middle.

“Thank you, hyung.”

Jooheon chuckles, ruffling the younger’s hair affectionately. He then resumes working on his phone, and Changkyun finally manages to fall asleep soon after.

Unbeknownst to them, Kihyun lies awake in the bunk above, absolutely seething.

  
It takes Changkyun a week to get to the point where he can spend any proper length of time around Kihyun, and a week more until he can hold a legitimate conversation with the older. Every night Changkyun moves to Jooheon’s bed in the middle of the night, and every night Kihyun listens to the two of them giggle into the wee hours of morning.

Finally, the main vocalist can’t take it anymore. He becomes so eaten up with jealousy that he finds it hard to even stay in the same room as the two rappers. He understands that Changkyun needs his space, but, he swears, if Jooheon is using this as an opportunity to take advantage of his maknae, he’ll make that rapper regret it.

  
Kihyun grows more and more resentful of the distance between him and the maknae, and how much closer the two rappers are becoming. The others notice this, as well, but they keep their mouths shut about it. He snaps at them all much more often than usual, and frantically cleans around the dorm pretty much around the clock.

  
After a month of this behavior, Hyungwon has had enough.

He catches Kihyun in the kitchen, scrubbing the cabinets clean with a focused pout set on his face.

“Hyung,” he says, clearly startling the older judging by the way he jumps so hard he bumps his head on the cabinet above and curses in pain. Kihyun turns, rubbing the top of his head with an annoyed expression. Hyungwon can’t help but smirk amusedly at the older. “I wanna go work out tonight. Will you come with me?” Kihyun stands, groaning in pain as he stretches his legs.

“Take Hoseok with you,” Kihyun tells him as he begins to make his way out of the kitchen. Hyungwon’s hand snaps out and grabs Kihyun by the wrist, and stares insistently into the older’s eyes.

“You haven’t left the dorm for weeks,” Hyungwon points out, “except for practice. I want you to go with me. _Please_ , hyung?” Kihyun purses his lips once more, his eyes looking as if he’s about to argue. But, before he does, his shoulders visibly deflate.

“Fine,” he sighs. “I need a reason to get out, I guess. If I have to spend one more night listening to the rappers’ flirting, I’m going to lose my mind.” He then pushes past his dongsaeng, going in search for more cleaner and totally missing the accusatory frown Hyungwon shoots his way.

  
Hyungwon and Kihyun leave shortly after dinner. They walk in silence to the company building, where the gym is located, and begin working out using their typical pieces of equipment. Kihyun works hard on his abs and upper-arm muscles, while Hyungwon merely spends an hour on the treadmill.

Kihyun had tried to get out of doing this with Hyungwon because the younger has always had a tendency to work out for only an hour and then want to talk for thirty minutes. Usually, Hyungwon would only ever want to talk about his and Hoseok’s relationship, but Kihyun has a feeling that tonight will be different. The vibes in the dorm have been way too off lately for anything to be normal about this excursion.

  
Just like clock-work, Hyungwon hops off the treadmill after only an hour, and goes to sit by the bench near to where Kihyun is doing pull-ups. Kihyun pretends to not notice, immediately on the defense. He knows this is going to be about his crumbling relationship with Changkyun, and he very much does not want to hear it.

“Kihyun,” Hyungwon begins, sounding surprisingly unsure of himself, “why’re you rejecting your feelings for Changkyunnie?” 


	9. Chapter 9

Kihyun doesn’t know why he falters at the blunt question. It’s very much Hyungwon’s style to speak in such a way, after all. But, that doesn’t keep Kihyun from losing his focus completely and dropping from the metal bar in aggravation. He doesn’t know who particularly he’s aggravated at, but it doesn’t really matter to him at the moment.

“I don’t know what—”

“Don’t play dumb,” Hyungwon interrupts. “It doesn’t suit you.” Kihyun goes silent as he moves to his bag. He retrieves his water bottle and begins to drink, trying to keep his temper at bay. He’s become more and more on edge since this whole thing began, and it doesn’t take much to set him off. He avoids the younger’s eyes, having a feeling it’s for the best. Hyungwon puffs out an annoyed breath, crossing his arms as he waits for a response.

“We’re not leaving until we talk about this,” Hyungwon tells him stubbornly. “What you’re doing is hurting both you and Kkungie, and it needs to stop. I hate seeing people I care about hurt.”

“I don’t feel that way about the maknae,” Kihyun mutter, though even to his ears his voice is unsure. “You guys keep on trying to force us two together, and I don’t see why. First Minhyuk-ah, then Changkyun-ah, now you… Honestly, just how many people did he play that recording for??”

“What recording?” Hyungwon asks, raising a perfect brow. Kihyun’s surprised by this. So, does this mean Hyungwon is questioning him of his own volition? But, if that’s the case, what could’ve possibly brought this on?

“The maknae recorded us all sleeping one night,” Kihyun says slowly, as if that’ll somehow jog his memory, “and in my sleep I said that I loved him…” Hyungwon rolls his eyes at this, and shakes his head in annoyance.

“Then why all this back and forth??” he demands. “You’ve _already confessed_ , for god’s sake. What the hell are you waiting for?”

“But, I _don’t_ ,” Kihyun insists, finally whirling around to meet Hyungwon’s gaze. “I mean, I do love him, but I didn’t mean it like that, surely…” Kihyun’s eyes fall to the floor, rubbing at his face with his free hand. Hyungwon studies how he moves, shuffling in his stance with downcast eyes. He chews on his bottom lip, very much surprising the younger with how sheepish he’s acting. He’d never seen his most prideful hyung act like this before, so unsure of himself. He can see the conflict in his eyes, the way he’s fighting himself so hard on this.

It’s then that Hyungwon sees it all, realizes why this tug-of-war has been going on. The uncertainty, the terror… the desperation. Kihyun wants so badly to ignore these feelings for Changkyun because he’s scared of what may happen, though if he’s scared of the relationship itself or the threat of the company, the dancer isn’t too sure.

It had been easy for Hyungwon and Hoseok to become a couple. They cared so deeply for each other that they couldn’t care less if the company found out. They had made peace long ago with the fact that they might have to give up their dreams of being singers if they were discovered. But, they knew it’d be okay if they had each other.

Kihyun doesn’t have that. The main vocalist has always been so insistent on his dream, Hyungwon knows, that he had only ever had one girlfriend before, but it ended shortly after it began because the older had realized he was very much not straight. He had never tried his hand at dating a boy because, well, if he were found out as a trainee, that’d be the end of everything. And now, when faced with an inescapable crush on someone he lives with, he’s shut himself off completely from it, just as he’d done with everyone else.

Hyungwon had seen him do this before with Hyunwoo during their No.Mercy days. No one had addressed it, especially since it was shortly after Hoseok and Hyungwon had decided to seal the deal. They most certainly didn’t want the company looking at them through any bigger of a magnifying glass. So, they kept their mouths shut. But, Hyungwon had always known in the back of his head that Kihyun had had a thing for their leader back in the day. That is, until Changkyun came onto the scene.

“Hyung,” Hyungwon sighs, rubbing at his eyes tiredly, “Changkyun feels the same way about you, you know. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Even now, even after you’ve broken his heart, he’s still hoping that you’ll admit to yourself how you feel about him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kihyun argues, ignoring the strange surge of hope his dongsaeng’s words bring. “He’s gotten _very_ close with Jooheon-ah lately. So, even if he did ever feel that way about me, he doesn’t anymore.”

“You’re such an idiot sometimes!” Hyungwon bursts out, his annoyance reaching its peak. “Kkungie only turned to Jooheonney for comfort, because he’s heartbroken _over you_! He’s never felt that way about Jooheon, and Jooheon’s never felt that way for him! They’re best friends, but _that’s it_. Changkyun loves _you_!!”

Kihyun blinks in surprise at the outburst, unable to process the majority of what the younger is saying.

“Changkyun… loves…”

“ _You_!” Hyungwon finishes, feeling as if he could just shake the older hard by the shoulders until he came to his senses. He watches as Kihyun processes his words with clear difficulty, and can’t help but chuckle in exasperation. “Honestly, hyung. You’re so hopeless sometimes.”

Kihyun licks his lips thoughtfully, wondering if this could possibly be true. Not that it matters to him, but…

 _If he really does love me_ , he thinks, his heartbeat quickening, _then… No, it doesn’t matter. I can’t start to think like that. Even if I did feel like that for him, which I don’t, it would never work. Something would happen, the company would find out… We’d lose everything. We’d disappoint our families, our fans... Would that be worth it?_

Hyungwon groans in aggravation, standing from the bench.

“I’m heading back,” he states simply. “I told Hoseok I wouldn’t be too late.” He slings his bag over his shoulder, and begins wiping at his face with a towel. He steps closer to Kihyun and rests a hand on his shoulder, an encouraging smile gracing his thick lips as Kihyun slowly meets his gaze. “The risk is worth coming home to the love of my life every night, of getting to fall asleep and wake up next to my soul mate,” he says softly, answering every single one of Kihyun’s questions in one fatal swoop.

“Don’t make the same mistakes you did with Hyunwoo,” Hyungwon finishes, driving that last point home with exquisite precision. He then turns and leaves, knowing there’s nothing left to be said.

  
Kihyun isn’t too sure how long he stands there, unmoving, as he thinks of all the times he’d held the maknae close, caught himself staring for too long as he practiced choreographies... All the times he’d stuck to the younger like the opposite end of a magnet, unable to keep himself away… He can’t even begin to describe how at-home he feels when he’s cooking with his beloved Kyunnie by his side… He then begins to imagine what his life would possibly be like if Changkyun were to leave for whatever reason, want it’d be like to live without him.

He gets a taste of heartbreak, and he never wants to experience it again.

Next thing he knows, Kihyun is running faster than he ever has in all his life. He sprints through the streets with only one thought in his mind: Im Changkyun.

  
He doesn’t even realize that it’s raining until he has to blink the drops from his eyes. He gets to the front door of the dorm and bursts through, his lungs on fire as he attempts to heave in some much-needed oxygen.

He doesn’t even bother to glance at the others on the couch. He merely crosses through the living room in one step, barges into the bedroom, and pulls himself up to be eye-level with Changkyun, who’s curled up in his bed like usual.

The maknae seems very much surprised by the sudden arrival of his hyung, but that’s nothing compared to how he reacts to the feeling of Kihyun’s lips smashing against his. 


	10. Chapter 10

Kihyun holds Changkyun close, his heart hammering wildly about within his chest. His head is swimming in how sweet the maknae tastes, how warmth spreads throughout his entire body from this small touch.

The older pulls away, staring with blazed pupils at his dongsaeng. Changkyun’s lips are slightly parted, his lidded gaze taking a moment to focus on the man before him. He licks his lips, trying to prolong the taste of the older for as long as possible.

“I’m sorry,” Kihyun says quickly, as if he doesn’t say it fast enough he’ll lose the nerve to. He steps down from his perch on Minhyuk’s bed, turning his back on the younger as he tries to sort through his thoughts. Changkyun quickly scrambles down from his bed, frantic to get the older so close again.

“Wh-Why?” Changkyun asks in near-desperation. He wants so badly to wrap his arms around Kihyun and never let go, to never let anything ever get between them, but self-doubt keeps him at bay. “I’m n-not. Hyung, please look at me. I… I…” He desperately wishes to confess to his hyung right then and there, to finally end this hellish existence he’s been suffering through without Kihyun by him, even as a friend. Kihyun finally turns, his eyes shining with a newfound hope at Changkyun’s words.

“I’m sorry for all I’ve put you through lately,” Kihyun tells him, reaching forward with shaking hands to hold onto the maknae’s warm ones. “I swear I’ll find some way to make it up to you. I was just so scared that someone might find out that…” Kihyun shakes his head at himself, regret filling him. “It doesn’t matter…”

“Hyung,” Changkyun murmurs, stepping closer to the older. He stares into his beautiful eyes, his heart pounding. “Could you just kiss me again?”

Kihyun can’t help but smile at this. He drops Changkyun’s hands, only to bring both his up to cup Changkyun’s precious cheeks.

He’s more than happy to comply to such a request.

  
Hyungwon is surprised to find all the others at home pressed up against the door to the other bedroom. Minhyuk shoves Jooheon aside, scrambling to get a better place at the door. Hoseok turns, as if sensing Hyungwon’s presence, and a smile breaks out over his face. A wonderful, pure smile that brings a grin to Hyungwon’s lips, as well. The older walks over, and hugs his love close.

“Whatever you said to Kihyunnie worked,” Hoseok reports in a soft voice. “He and Changkyun are talking now, and it sounds like it’s going well. You’re a miracle worker, Wonnie.”

“Of course I am, hyung,” Hyungwon fires back teasingly. He presses a kiss against Hoseok’s forehead, holding the back of the younger’s head gently. Hoseok blushes at the kiss. No matter how long they’re together, Hyungwon feels, Hoseok will still blush at small, sweet kisses such as those.

“Ugh, they’re making out now,” Minhyuk sighs, standing up and moving away from the door. He spots Hyungwon, and smirks at him. “Kihyun-ssi came home a couple minutes ago, soaking wet. He had this wild look in his eye, and stormed into their room.” Minhyuk pauses, pouting. “Why aren’t you soaking wet?”

“Because good looks are too busy just _dripping_ off of him,” Jooheon interjects, sounding quite proud of his pun. His hyungs all turn to him with an unamused glance, causing him to shrink back with a pout. “Kyunnie would’ve laughed at that,” he mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Kyunnie’s gonna be too busy with Kihyun-ah for a while to laugh at any of your dumb jokes, Jooheonney,” Minhyuk tells him, chuckling lowly. He then sighs, laughing breathily. He passes by Jooheon, sighing as he shakes his head and ruffles the younger’s hair. “We’re going to bed. Good night, everyone.” Hyunwoo immediately moves to follow his boyfriend, nodding at the others as he’s led away.

“Maybe it’s best to take my bunk for tonight, Jooheonney,” Hyungwon says, taking Hoseok’s hand as he leads him into the bedroom, as well. “We should give the two some space.” Jooheon nods, though he doesn’t head to bed. He distractedly glances over at the bedroom door behind which Kihyun and Changkyun giggle and kiss.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” he mutters, going for his phone on the coffee table. “I’ve got something to take care of first.” Hyungwon nods, not bothering to ask what it could be. Jooheon will tell him eventually. Out of all the other members, Jooheon has always been good about not withholding information from his same-age friend.

  
Jooheon presses on the all-too familiar contact photo, his heart beating a bit faster than before. All this drama with Changkyun and Kihyun had finally put everything he had been struggling with before into perspective. He knows now what he has to do.

“Jooheonney!” Gunhee answers after only one ring. “It’s been so long since I’ve heard from you… You’ve been really busy lately.”

“I have,” Jooheon replies with a chuckle, noting Gun’s disappointed tone. “But, I have some free time tomorrow, and I was wondering if you wanted to meet up at our old place… Say around one?”

“Our old place,” Gun murmurs, sounding almost nostalgic. His tone grows softer with each syllable he speaks, and it warms Jooheon’s heart to no end. “Yeah, that sounds nice.” Jooheon feels his own smile grow, and he can’t help but laugh once more.

“Great,” he comments. “There’s, uh… There’s something I wanna ask you when I see you. Or, something I wanna say…”

“Why not just say it now?” the man on the other line asks curiously. “If it’s so important, just—”

“No,” Jooheon insists. “It has to be in person. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Gun sighs, chuckling a bit. “I’ll see you then.” He then hangs up, leaving Jooheon to listen to the dial tone. He sighs as he pulls the phone from his ear. He leans to the side, pulling a ring from his pocket. He twirls it round his fingers, smiling softly to himself.

 _Tomorrow_ , he thinks, his heart pounding in his ears. _Tomorrow is the day. I’ll ask him, and I’ll know once and for all…_


	11. Epilogue

“ _Hyung_ ,” Changkyun whines, halfheartedly pulling away from Kihyun. The older merely chuckles, tightening his hold on his boyfriend and hugging him even closer. Changkyun squeals in delight, kicking out his legs playfully. Hyungwon watches fondly from his place in Hoseok’s arms, and turns to share a proud glance with his boyfriend. Minhyuk and Hyunwoo sit on the other side of the visual couple, cuddling in content as they pay attention to the movie playing on the screen.

Jooheon suddenly enters, seeming a bit frantic. Kihyun and Minhyuk immediately take notice of this. They exchange a worried frown, and Kihyun clears his throat to get the younger’s attention.

“It’ll be okay, Jooheonney,” Minhyuk assures him, trying for a supportive smile. “It isn’t as if this is our first time meeting him.”

“It’s your first time meeting him like this,” Jooheon argues, pacing the room. “Hyung,” he adds, looking pointedly at Kihyun “please don’t try to intimidate him. I know you mean well, but it’d send the wrong message.”

“Don’t worry, Jooheonney,” Kihyun tells him with an understanding grin, “I won’t judge him until after he leaves.”

“Well,” Minhyuk adds, chuckling, “of course we’re going to do that! I mean, that’s the whole point of tonight, isn’t it?” Kihyun nods immediately, earning a groan of dismay from Jooheon.

“We’ll just go out…” he mumbles, already pulling out his phone to tell his guest the change of plans.

“You’ll do no such thing!” Kihyun argues, feeling defensive. “I spent hours on that dinner! You’re going to eat it and enjoy it!” He feels the tips of his ears grow red, and he knows his own sensitivity is getting the better of him once again. However, Changkyun’s grip on his hand tightening helps cool him down a bit. Jooheon acts as if he’s about to say something, but a knock at the door stops him. He gulps and hurries over to the door, pausing only to take a calming breath before opening the door.

“Yeobo!” Gun cries out, flinging himself forward and clinging to Jooheon with a delighted smile. Jooheon chuckles, wrapping his arms around the slightly-older and hugging him close. They break away from the embrace, and Jooheon closes the door behind him before turning to the others.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you guys…” Gun says, sounding suddenly sheepish. Jooheon notes how he nervously glances down at his feet, and can’t help but wrap a supportive arm around his waist. Kihyun laughs soundlessly, and finally releases his hold on the maknae as he gets up.

“Too long,” is all he says. He closes the distance between himself and Jooheon’s love, offering a hand to shake. Gun takes it, seemingly grateful, and shakes it wholeheartedly. Kihyun raises a brow when he feels cold metal against his skin, and turns Gun’s hand over to see the ring on his finger. It’s a simple silver band, barely noticeable amongst all the other rings the rapper usually wears.

“You know,” Kihyun finds himself saying amusedly, “we could barely believe it when Jooheonney told us about this… But, we’re all very happy for you, and couldn’t be happier to accept you officially into our family.” Kihyun meets Gun’s gaze, which has turned watery with joy.

“Aish,” Minhyuk sighs in exasperation, “come on, everyone. Let’s save the waterworks for later, and eat now before the food gets cold.” Gun quickly wipes at his eyes and nods, laughing thickly as he follows the others into the dining area.

  
Kihyun finds himself glancing over at Changkyun much more often than he should during dinner. Their knees tap against each other every so often, and every time the maknae glances over with a tentative grin. He keeps a gentle hand on the younger throughout the entirety meal, which Changkyun holds gratefully.

He leans over near the end of the dinner, breathing in deeply his love’s scent. It’s enough to make his heart race.

“I tell you I love you today?” he asks in a mere whisper. Changkyun giggles, and shakes his head. Though, there’s clearly an impish light to his eyes. Kihyun chuckles, rolling his eyes at his needy boyfriend. He’s quite the needy young man when he wants to be. However, despite sighting the tell-tale sign of the fib, Kihyun presses a sweet kiss to the younger’s neck, anyway.

“I love you, Changkyunnie.”

“I love you, too, hyung,” Changkyun whispers, smiling with absolute adoration shining in his eyes. Kihyun chuckles, and kisses the younger’s cheek. He can’t believe he’d ever tried to deny himself this, but, as he glances around at his family, he couldn’t be anymore thankful for them making him come to his senses.

He leans his head on the maknae’s shoulder as laughter fills the room, thinking that if this had to be how he spent the remainder of days, then he’d truly be in heaven. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for supporting this fic!!! All your comments and kudos mean so much to me, y'all have no idea! 
> 
> However, I'm afraid this is the end for this work... I'm sorry to those of you who feel this is abrupt, I just couldn't stop writing these chapters over the past week, and I thought it'd be a nice surprise for those who've been waiting a long time for this fic to get an update. 
> 
> Thanks again everyone for all of your support!!!! I'll see y'all in the next fic! #ChangkiRise2k17 <3
> 
> If y'all like what ya read, feel free to buy me a coffee using this link~! https://ko-fi.com/A26339IO


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